In Defense of Female 'Bimbos'

This has gone on for long enough. For too long I have heard the lesser intelligent, above-average looking female class demeaned, mocked, jeered and loudly insulted by men and women alike (but mostly women). I am no champion of the dim-witted dear who has spent 3 hours between hair, make-up and shoes for a ride to the Burrito shop, but I think it has all gone too far. And whats more I think many women could learn a thing or two from the "bimbo" crowd. They're not as dumb as they seem you see.

First, let us define the bimbo. She is preferrably blond, but any color will do, with very high heels, trim to shapely, typically very done-up with hair overly styled and every toe painted and polished to a gleaming shine. She hasn't read a politically-aimed literary work her entire life and she knows the names of every actor and actress ever born. She can recite Maybeline colors like an ambulance-chasing lawyer can recite the bill of rights. She is generally unthinking in matters of global and or national significance and she doesn't really want to know much beyond what applies to her, her husband and her children in the immediate 3-5 years - or days, depending. In short she ignores what seems to be the most important aspects of life and cares little to debate what we ought to do about the power structure's neglect of the civil population, environment or immigration.

But that's not to say she's worthless, pathetic or disabused. No, dear friend. No, indeed. She is quite sly if you ask me. She is like the cunning salesmen who ignores the techno-speak about the product his competitor's are pitching and makes the client feel good with a rum-bowl and leggy blondes. You see, the bimbo knows what counts. She has no time to suffer fools. She has no time for matters which are ultimately non sequiturs. She sees men. She watches their eyes, their actions, their movements. She thinks last, and feels first. But she senses and she feels and she does them both very, very well. She knows what sells. She is a woman and she wants children with a handsome man who can provide. And when the chips are down, what do men choose? The ugly truth is that they want a young, sexy, female with which to have sex with - and they usually wind up marrying one. Men one day learn that they and women are different and on the list of things they can live without, a sexy figure and attention to appearance always make the cut. The 'bimbo' knows this and that's where she places her bets.

Speaking for men, if I may for a moment - we'd like both - we'd like our Ph.d. wrapped in Pamela Anderson's exterior, but that's just not possible and moreover its futile to search for. So you either take the girl next door in her plain shape and package or else you make sure you can live on vapid, relatively common conversation with a sexy wife. And with a little practice, you'd be amazed how one can get by with that. Do we want inane conversation? No. But if the woman is even modestely intelligent, nay, educated and will listen to reason or listen to our diatribes on this or that, that very well may be close enough. Men are aggressive animals and they want a sexy woman. Period. The truth is indeed ugly. Brilliant and famous men are often found with statuesque models. Why? Because they're men first and idealogues second. Sex sells, ladies and gentlemen, for better or for worse. And if his playmate is a bit conservative, wants to get and stay married, and wants him to make the command decisions? Then we have a deal. It sounds like she's promising to play the role of woman and gasp, we get to play the role of the man - a man's man. Its the only role we are confident playing anyway.

Many a cerebral woman has crossed my path and they would all have me drawn and quartered for what I am suggesting, but guess what? Those women are more bitter and cynical than anything else - and for that I do not blame them. But they also come to accept what we all as animals must... the pecking order. The alpha males pick the hottest females and the rest of us fall into line. We do not pick the hottest or most intelligent mate that we may have wanted, but the mate we select sacrifices a bit as we do and having a mate is better than having none at all. Reliable access to sex, companionship, friendship, romance, understanding and compassion are things happy people all have in common.

So the next time you see the 'bimbo' do not pity her, for she is not stupid. In fact, she cuts through the fluff faster than many of us so called 'smart' folks. She's comfortable with being what she is and nothing more. And happiness is a simple choice, after all. Perhaps we should all think a little less and embrace her simplicity of thought, even if we don't completely adopt the rest of her.